When asked to reveal my secret
horton hears a huh
horton hears a what
horton hears a chicka chicka slim shady
HORTON HEARS NOTHING HORTON IS AS DEAD AS THIS JOKE
horton hears a hater
You take a child genuis and give him a shitty childhood which involved his dick head of a father walking out on him and his schizophrenic mother, leaving a 12 year old kid to fend for himself and his mom. Then you put him in a field full of fbi agents, toughen him up a bit make him super cute & akward and whe-hey! Things are looking up.
But of course then hes gotta get kidnapped and tortured, and also addicted to drugs but thats cool it’s not like he’s been through enough. And then the only man who treated him like an adult, the man he saw as a father figure in his life leaves, and only explains himself to reid - and thats okay, because in time he will get over gideon leaving, just like he had to get over his dad leaving all those years ago. Then we find out he got bullied like mad as a kid, and was stripped naked infront of the entire school, but its cool, its completley okay because bullying makes a person stronger and a better person, right?
Now he gets shot in the leg and ends up in crutches but thats okay because its only a little graze and he will recover eventually. And then you go and “kill” his best friend, without even letting him say goodbye, but wait, she’s not actually dead and you just made him suffer months of heart break for absolutley no reason what so ever. Thats all cool though because you’re gonna let him be happy after that right? Maybe meet a girl whos literally perfect for him, a girl who is as clever and cute and akward and pretty as he is, a girl who makes him happy - yay Finally something goods happening to him!
But wait what the - no no no reid is not aloud happiness, this will not do! Ah yes she must die, his girlfriend must die, but not just die any old way, she must die right infront of reids own two eyes! Ahh yes thats how we will make reid suffer this time, lets just murder the one person that gave him happiness.
Good, now what can we do now? Ahh yes KILL HIM. SHOOT HIM, SLAUGHTER HIM. Then we won’t need to worry about finding ways to hurt him because HE’LL BE DEAD."
the 1700s called……they want their clothing back. haha just kidding the first telephone was invented in 1876
a good post AND i learned something. thanks tumbrl